Ahhahahahahhah, it is therefore thanks to the whims of the weather that I regret having to inflict you (at the request of some members of the site who will be punished accordingly by the whip contents) my first FR….
Usually, I do not publish a FR because my travel time is used for more "professional" activities; or on Brest - Orly - Brest shuttles (already reported on site and with a very short flight time) at night, with work to operate, nothing remarkable is normally present.
Today… it's different!
quote]The introduction of death that kills to death by fatal freezing
Admittedly, it is a commonplace two-day round trip in Air France Airbus single-aisle aircraft in domestic traffic: nothing very exciting on the theory. The outward journey will not be postponed because… I was working:) The return will be and I would ask your indulgence, that of the jury and the readers, for all the errors, omissions and inaccuracies it contains.
Nor would I go into the details of the modus operandi for bypassing Air France's yield management (say the pricers, do you think it is normal to charge €403 for a journey of 600 kilometres? Just because the Air France-KLM group has its headquarters in the Netherlands does not mean that you have to go there by GP to consume certain locally authorised products for recreational purposes), one day perhaps… but there are real professionals on site for that purpose!
In short, the routing presented is as follows: 06/02/2018 AF 7363 - 08 :55 BES - 10 :15 ORY (not carried over) 07/02/2018 AF 7374 - 21 :30 ORY - 22 :40 BES
The flight, not postponed, left at 09h39 (+44 minutes) and arrived 22 minutes late… slight delay and no real consequences. As you have noted, it is snowing and obviously the snowy episode has raised some difficulties in the air traffic of the day.
The return was therefore set to be a "galley report" like some of the black cats on the site.
To be precise, flight AF 7374 of the previous day left at … 00 :45 the next day (i.e. more than 3 hours late) in the middle of the Orly "airport curfew" period with an air traffic control exemption for an arrival in Brest at… 1:39 am…. In short, my beloved boss -ôgloire be returned to him for at least 50 generations- clearly indicates to me on Tuesday evening that for the next day, I can do the best I can and save myself "earlier" if necessary….
For once I don't plan to arrive in Orly 15 minutes before boarding time - time required to go to the Carrefour city mini-market on level -1 - then go in the plane directly to eat there…
Except that the snow ensures… that the day is intense and suspenseful: Hitchcock can go get dressed or tackle in a cheap motel!
At H-32, I receive my boarding pass (with the mention of an incorrect FB status on the way) for my usual return flight which is scheduled in A 319 "domestic laundry" (i. e. with ironing boards).
On the morning of the flight, at 08:33 am, the "ROC" (Customer Operational Reminder: Air France service in charge of contacting the pax in case of difficulty) contacts me by SMS to propose me to change flights free of charge in view of the risk of cancellation. This message is repeated a few hours later and some colleagues see the cancellation text messages falling like flies. In view of the results of the old and the DGAC's indication that the derogations would be more limited, I changepronto subito my reservation for flight AF 7370 from 19:05… Change made in 3 tries and 10 minutes; you can feel that it loads well on the servers!
Except……. It's still snowing and still snowing!!!!! And that at 13:05 the SMS sanction falls: the ROC informs me that my collar of 19:05 is cancelled… impossible to rebook me on the flight of 21:30 which is… inaccessible and whose status is… unknown! In short, it smells like an airport night with a wake-up call around 4 a.m…. all the more so as having been re-booked, the AF application refuses any other exchange without any right of defence or contradictory.
So I contacted Air France via the blue bird's back door and explained the problem. For 35 minutes, nothing happens… and I discuss the preparation of the super-meeting of the killer death scheduled for 2:30 p. m. with bibi who must talk about technical things in a state of extreme zenitude. At 2:12 p.m., an e-mail informs me of the issuance of a new ticket on the 21:30 flight without a message from the AF teams (who I suppose are trying to unblock as many pax as possible). This message will finally come about ten minutes later via the piaf (here again we feel that the activity is in full swing). I therefore start the meeting much more serene… :) All this with the right FB status!
When the meeting is over (yippee, school is over), I have to go back to work to solve 2-3 administrative problems when (suspense, drum roll, ad cut, ad tunnel, weather, trailers, etc.) the ROC decides to send me… an SMS at 5:11 pm telling me that my flight is likely to be cancelled, it is recommended that I postpone my trip… to tomorrow (except that full the next morning).
In short, even if it means having time, seeing the country, and feeling the A1 jet through your nostrils, you might as well try to get back in.
It is therefore in advance that I leave work to go from Paris to Orly… planning a difficult journey by public transport!
Except that, using my magical powers thanks to an ancestral guru amulet held in the family since 1492, I found a taxi in… 5 minutes! And fuck Orly!
And, a glass of Champagne, Paris will be crossed in half the time it usually takes and the highway will be… deserted!
The taxi will even mention on its network its next arrival on Orly and will learn that it is number 22 for a scheduled pick-up while usually it is between 150 and 200th…
He will leave me, oh supreme luxury of the petty-bourgeois Western decadence,BEFORE door C of Hall 2… I would therefore only have to make 3 meters in the open air (the taxi miraculously accepted the credit card and its wifi worked, that is to say if I had powerful stars in my favor).
So I arrive in Orly West at 8:22 p.m.!!!!
The menu of the day appears as a cross betweenArmageddon,Harry Potter and air traffic control andThe good, the bad and the cancelled flight.
But, my powerful ancestors are watching over my flight:)
Multiple emotions then cross my person: Will I be able to go and squat in Emirates' fashionable Salon F in Tehran? Will I be able to visit the Palace of the Thousand and One Night to get a massage thanks to the sponsorship of a major beauty brand? Will I be able to visit an ephemeral museum? Will I escape Rungis Hotel, which will have only one unheated room?
Finally, in front of so many emotions to which I am not accustomed, I head towards… the Hippopotamus restaurant at the terminal. Unlike the Marx, Piège and other masters of aeronautical vacuum cooking well known on the site, I would not show you my agape (i.e. a fried grill with a San Pellegrino) because it would hurt too many people on the site who are all converted to the holy religion of the BoB sandwich by MOLair and ZZjettrucbidule.
Moreover it is purely utilitarian and does not deserve an opinion in FR-advisor….
And since I feel that Jupiter, Brigitte and the other inhabitants of Olympus have me at the right place, we're going to move forward!
quote]MOGOY mode = ON
Place manants!!!!!!!! Let pass his gracious and august excellence which goes towards new adventures at the risk of his life and for which your existence has little importance….
Wishing to avoid the unbearable expectations of the Pif gadget, I leave - like my teacher Professor Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. mul. caused Von Mogoy- my Plutonium card- not expired-; it makes the brave and honest people and other populaces flee and makes me admire the dragons, amazons, praetorian guards and other vestals of the air world.
So I approach the Stix and head to the right using the privileges of the power that has the right to travel in the bus lanes, broken down Velib' and on the shore lanes for pocket submarines.
My heart almost went wild: there are two people in front of me who will slow me down! Listening only to my courage, and making any indication of air traffic control, I therefore make a 15° turn to starboard to switch to queue n°8 (mixed Access n°1 and personal PIF accessing the AF PN base) where there is no one waiting…
Miracle of creation: the Pif gadget is shipped in 3 minutes with friendly staff (almost systematic), no explosive control or forgetting an Evian bottle trapped in Al Mont-Blanc's explosive mineral salts.
Airside in less time than it takes to say it, I plan to go to Heaven… except that to access it serenely, the passage through Purgatory is necessary.
Purgatory is clean and empty… the man will be green.
I'll spare you the details.
Finally, the gates of Paradise are open to me,…
The Loundge goes back to the Mogoy sauce but light way Weight watchers revisited
You all know the lounge in Hall 2 of Orly West: nothing fantastic (but it is open to pax in domestic flight, unlike DL or AZ) and therefore has the merit to exist. My Uranium card (which recently became Plutonium but I am still waiting for Hermès to remember me…) opens the doors for me without difficulty.
Le Cerbère is very polite and considerate, even going so far as to give me my personalized press review (the Duck is normally hidden under the left PC because few are delivered on Wednesdays, only regulars know it) featuring Palmipeda, the so-called reference daily newspaper, the latest paper in Beytout and a pale French version of ZE which recalls the alpine sounds in the valleys…
Service message:"no EA at AF show"
The Gods, in the absence of having fallen on their heads, always watch over bibi :)
I will therefore look for 6 pieces of Balik to accompany my shells with Comté AOC 36 months and Truffle before switching to Monegasque baba… drowned in a liquid dangerous to health in high doses.
Unfortunately, the demonic agents of salmonids make sure that only the County, a little butchering and some miscellaneous odds and ends up lying around. It seems like 00000000 went through there before me!
I will therefore be satisfied with a Rabelaisian selection in accordance with the recommendation of the gods of Olympus who are guarantors of my mental and physical health….
I would even have the right to see the summit of the Mountain of Mountains: the Elysée, the Valhalla, the Nirvana, the Saint of Saints: the Plutonium Francium Unbinilium space: 2 occupants, a few places with a separate press stock and a semblance of additional calm.
Then came the spotting sequence on skis.
Air Chance bus bus, ZZ-Top jet, and a passing eagle wave… Only the presence of snow makes the photos not intended fordev\null …
Then ourGO takes his laptop microphone to announce the beginning of the boarding of our plane… ahead of schedule!
The living room in Hall 2, better than that of Hall 1 in some respects, is still light (compare to 2F/2G in Roissy for example).
Return to the promised land
The promised land is contractually an airport in Brittany. To get there from another airport, this means leaving Paradise, taking a wide-winged bus and getting out after a ride.
I therefore leave Paradise and reveal to you a secret passage whose use no mortal can foresee.
Yes, you have seen well and your eyesight does not deserve a new trip to the optician. This is the pass-piece for connections to Orly (notion of a single pass-piece). By this means, it is thus possible to change aircraft without having to go back to Orly….
Except that it connects half of the arrivals at gate 20 to the only boarding lounge in Hall 2… so gates 20. As we can't predict the arrival gate in advance, only Aeroflot's Soviet roulette, Alitalia's lottery or Ryanair's winning bingo can give you the chance to pass through it (only once as far as I'm concerned on a TLS->ORY->BES).
Finally, it's better who nothing is: it's a symbol, the one of hope that one day ADP (I know it's changed its name since then) will understand the desires of passengers other than the multi-billionaire Chinese who want to buy Bordeaux wines for at least 500,000 euros in duty free.
And then comes the intergalactic drama of level 15!
Arggg the plebe!
What the hell are these beggars doing in these parts? Well, they're trying to make a pilgrimage to the last civilized place before the Wild West: then it's New York (hey, the pricers, doing JFK at the price of BES is not rational for the average person, even if it's very profitable)!
Well today you could have stashed them in a corner….
In the arena, you have to know how to face adversity… because to win without danger, you triumph without glory!
Yes, the Skypriority, which is just a huge joke in Orly, is not even the subject of any posting that might not be respected; the hypocrisy has stopped. And it's long, it's long…
I feel then that we are going to overcome the Greek tragedy and that in the absence of anyDeus ex machina, the worst is coming.
The worst is actually already there: in the queue are a wheelchair pax and two families with babies… all of them queuing quietly and politely. After 3 scanning interruptions of 5 minutes: I pass and there……
Beeeeeep, red light.
What, an F upgrade, a Jumpseat seat? All on a flight that is only a laundry sub-CIO?
No, the person announces to me: "emergency exit"… except that I occupy, according to my boarding pass, the seat 2E of an A320 which implies either that a pervert had to cut a hole in the cell to create a new emergency exit following the red dots, or that there is a problem…
After checking, I finally change seats: I go to 2B! No new cards will be issued and the AF application is strawberry-based…. with its 2E that I would keep as a totem from an improbable bug!
It doesn't matter, remembering my commando training courses, I decided to go and meet the enemy. I have to face the labyrinth in search of either a minotaur or an honorable way out of this situation.
Alert, alert, alert, alert, combat jerk off, all to battle stations, this is not an exercise!
The caterpillar is closed, I repeat, the caterpillar is closed. Daddy Alpha X-ray Bravo Uniform Sierra!
Well, we go back down to hell, except that they're not heated!!!!!
Maestro music: "In my benz benz benz benz…
Okay, it's a Citaro C2 Euro 6…
Well, that's not all, but where are we going?
M04 ? Ouch, so we're going to take a ride.
Well, are we there?
I notice the covered staircase! A bit like AntonyTahiti's style:)
Service message:" Attention crew, boarding complete… Garcimore's number: shhehehehehehehehehe you work from 2B to 1D -where there is a perch-.
So we were in the third and last paxbus….
Still bulktrucks, but good… my own pitch?
The captain (re)puts on his stripes… willingness to go incognito (for a pilot?????) or art of avoiding pax furibards on a complicated day?
Anyway, the braid is required to close the doors… so yapluskalefaire!
Oh a recent ceiling light!
However, F-HBNF (an Airbus A320-214) dates from 2011; but it has already made a visit to Transavia France (see thisreport). He was scheduled with his crew for Biarritz on a morning flight, he finished with his crew on su Brest in the evening.
Night flight, so few pictures from outside….
Of course no plutonium greeting on a domestic CC but good…… but as I exchanged with the head of the cabin two-three things, she will look in her tablet at my profile… obviously the plutonium will have the effect expected by the marketing egg heads in her brain and she will multiply the smiles with each interaction; she was however perfectly helpful, polite and efficient from the beginning!
The infernal chariot passes and I decide in my soul and conscience to combine lust, sin of flesh and other impure sweet and sour thoughts (but not LH for all that I care about my health!!!!)
Then, finally, an exercise in the Marathon way, which consists in compacting a particular origami from Taiwan called Phidippides in 42,195 maximum steps).
It's all there:)
Argggh a galactic space carrier, no Marathon comes out of this body!
In case of emergency, the parachutes are on the left… The moment Porte by the one whose name should not be said.
The Marathon test: not good!
It's full as an egg (well, not even, there's no-show).
Arrival at 10:39 p. m…. one minute early!!!!!
And the track team is there and ready!
The CC will even make the effort to greet us with aKenavo appreciated by all passengers happy to have arrived at their destination (even if those destined for Quimper or Lorient will have to improvise a means of transport). However, there was no Britair even if the busbus was also sold as a Hopisé!
Freedom guides our steps…
No peas, reflections: it's worse!
To enter Brittany, you must pass through Customs….
Fortunately, I have my Breton diplomatic passport:) Long live Schengen!!!!!
Air France HOP! Lounge - Orly 1
Paris - ORY
Brest - BES
A classic utility flight on the bottom. In terms of form, the weather and its management have multiplied the number of postponement plans and others... with all that this may imply.
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