BESMRS hitting again!!!!! But I'm going to disappoint everyone because of the indigence of my FR… well, not exactly his global indigence, his air indigence: it's therefore more complex!
Introduction - ¡Vamos a la playa !
My beloved boss - glory be to him for centuries and centuries to come - has decided to organize a working meeting in southern Spain for a weekend. We talk about work (a little) and we do teambuilding on the beach the rest of the time… Quite nice, on paper at least, I admit it:)
The basic routing is therefore as follows: May 19, 2018 - AF 7737 - 06:05 BES - 07:25 CDG to A320 (F-GKXI)[not carried over] May 19, 2018 - AF 5052 - 10:05 CDG - 12:40 AGP to 737 (EC-LTM)[UX 1034 codeshare - not carried forward] May 21, 2018 - AF 5063 - 16:45 AGP - 19:25 CDG to 737 (EC-LQX)[UX 1037 codeshare - not carried forward] May 21, 2018 - AF 7732 - 21:50 CDG - 23:00 BES in 319 (F-GRHU)[it's here!!!!]
Having spent the night of May 18 to 19 finishing urgent files that could not wait at all for the following Monday (public holiday, not public holiday, it has not changed much for bibi for 20 years even when he only worked for the Republic… and the Public Service), short all-nighter since the alarm clock was scheduled for 04:00… and since I finished the last one at 4:10 in the morning !
So I go to the airport in a not very fresh and sleepy state thanks to a taxi cleverly invited to my home by phone. Check-in of checked baggage in death skytrucks, double coffee at the airport, double re-coffee, boarding and then… dodo!
Some useful details: - the AF application does not manage UX flights, the UX application does not manage AF flights (and say that some complain about TO); - you can register at H-48 h on UX against H-30 on AF ; - It is impossible to have a single boarding pass on the web even with a PNR and a single ticket number… So I made two separate recordings as soon as I opened on the web and I paid a good price because UX flights are full and there is no advantage to being a loyal customer: emergency exits are charged, seats are expensive and squatted by regulars: in short, waiting for H-30 means being assured of a placement in an aft cabin with limited toilet space or hold:)
On the other hand, my two registrations will be taken back at the airport as they are and a single paper card will be given to me mentioning that I travel in "Economy" on AF and in "Turista Class" on UX.
So here are the travel documents:
So I wake up on short final. No postponement of the one-way lounge (I was working there… for a change), no postponement of the one-way flight between Roissy and Malaga… I worked or slept! Arrival on time….
The return was more complex. No FR on the UX flight (I worked… a little, the good joke or slept - especially), as for the lounge (Malaga's "VIP sala"), it is vast, perfectly impersonal and worthy of an improved patio (knowing that there is not even bottled water to prevent the PAX from taking them away). In short, it has the merit of existing for the summer… in order to be quiet in an airport lounge. However, it is clean even though a watch and jewelry seller is located there! No press to take on board… except promotional fanzines for tourists.
Sleep on the UX flight (I who can never sleep in a plane, I must deduce that either I age very quickly, or I am more than exhausted… because I had to sleep in a plane on my last 15 flights more than all my adult life combined)…
Prologue - The devil dresses in Prada
Arrival at CDG on time, direction AF lounge; that of 2F2 our door being F49.
Platinum greetings (first time) with a thank you for your loyalty and presence… I note! To my remark about the complex moment for loyalty, I am told that AF will do everything possible to keep its customers (note to readers, I have since been informed of a free one-month extension of my subscription card due to strikes).
Originally, it was absolutely not planned for me to do a FR given my condition. Events decided otherwise (because the PAR<->BES at night remains of very limited interest).
Considering the gap between my two flights, I decided to test the showers in the living room to… wake up!
Not only was the idea excellent, but they were all available in 30 seconds! Well I didn't take a picture of them (I had shower n°1) but they are not badly designed with the following reservations: - there are only two hooks behind the door, - there is no luggage rack… you have to put them on the floor or on the toilet (yuck) with the risk of getting them wet or dirty, - there is no door in the shower… hence an additional risk of flooding. In short, I wouldn't hesitate to go back there (they were clean too and the floor tiling is very non-slip which is nice).
However, AF can easily add a coat hook above the bins, put an unfoldable luggage rack behind the door and a glass rack for the shower…
As the press of the day is not here (for the first time), the celebrations will be gastronomic with the usual buffet!
But that's where the drama begins…
Act I - Waiting for Godot
The aircraft of the day, F-GRHU, provided the following routing that day: CDG-BLQ-CDG-CDG-CPH-CDG-LYS-CDG-BES. My flight being the last of the series, the slightest delay will snowball (known air).
However, around 8 p.m. we are told that we will be leaving at 23:20 or 23:30 because flight AF 7649 has not yet left Lyon due to the DGAC strike. Except the strike wasn't supposed to start until the next day!
The FIDS will vary from 10 minutes to 20 or 30 depending on the time….
At 9:30 pm, we are informed at the show that a slot has been granted for this flight with an arrival at CDG at 1:33 am and a takeoff at 2:33 am for an arrival at 3:30 am at BES.
The FIDS will no longer be updated (ahahahaha) and we are also assured that Brest airport will remain open for us (including car rental).
As there were only paxes left for Brest in this lounge, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was formed: Flightradar, the AF application, the Lyon airports site are immediately consulted by multiple paxes who check and track everything (including two former ones from another airline). The verdict immediately came in: crew stop and flight cancelled despite the denials of AF personnel.
Stupor of the team at the salon (very friendly by the way but who didn't expect to meet Marvel's heroes from theLigue des justiciers) who answered his phone to ask about the situation. Because we learn on this occasion that AF no longer has a reserve crew, nor a reserve aircraft with CDG… while it is just its main hub (here it is more Buster Keaton at the controls, it is Chico, Harpo, Groucho and Zeppo who are at the head of an airline company).
Finally at 9:49 pm the aircraft takes off from Lyon (thanks to the web for existing) which allows the superheroes of the day to inform the staff… who confirms that the aircraft is still on the ground. After calling the permanencead hoc, confirmation that the pax are right… atmosphere, atmosphere.
So I who was negotiating 600 xp points in compensation for the night of the dawn that was coming, I see my unexpected gain (I think the value of xp is happily confused with that of miles) fly away as surely as a low-cost plane… The whole team (AF and pax) will then follow the plane on the net live… regretting an approach facing East with the visit of Pontoise :)
That's when I realize (between n calls of global crisis management calling for n meetings of the United Nations Security Council, because if superman is late, supergirl and superbaby will not wait for him to arrive) that I have a little time, that I'm no longer lame (thanks to the shower) and that maybe there will be FR!!!
Act II - The Phantom of the Opera
Except CDG2F is… empty! All the flights (except one, ours) are gone. This allows you to take pictures with my phone (I spare you the blurred images that are the most numerous in the lot, night shots still requiring less standardized things) rather infrequently. The main interest of this FR is therefore there….
Whoo-hoo!!!!! Are you there, wolf?
Well, the 2F isn't empty yet: there are two people!
What if I wanted to buy a bag for the lady?
Or a perfume?
Let's walk in the woods, while the Wolf is not there…..
There is so little traffic that you can even drive at full speed and overtake (although it is strictly forbidden)
Hello? On the 22nd in Asnières????
Zut deprived of macaroons
Come on, let's go down… and then no one follows me:
Phew because I forgot my authorization to take pictures at CDG/LBG… at home!
Caviar, Balik: what is our National Mogoy doing?
Paul's not here… either!
So are we testing the elevator or not? The escalator?
No, redirect the living room!!!!!
It is 10:30 p.m. and the Salon is still open!
And yes, the staff will stay beyond the scheduled time until the departure of the last pax (which will delay the planning of the household).
Let's take a look at the owner or the Salon 2F2 by night (exclusive by BESMRS !!!!) Level -1… chic the cantoche is empty!
But the R+0 buffet is not empty!!!!!!!
Note AF's humour: there is "Paris Brest" in the absence of Paris-Brest?
There are plenty of places:
Our salmon trafficker Ikea only has to behave himself:
15 meters without a living soul
Well, that's not all, but the beast is coming… to the right!
Go on, I'm off to the aircraft bat, which is waiting for the mixed DC/Marvel/Skyteam team (look for the intruder)…
I would like to thank the staff who were adorable although dependent on external information… I will remember for a long time the head of one of the managers when a pax took out the regulations governing the working hours of the cabin crew and that of another when he came to tell the paxes that they were right… about the delay!
I note that the staff remained, in part, until well after their end of service to be present. It may seem harmless or normal, it has become very rare… that AF is not Alitalia… or others!
Act III - The Phantom Ship
Now we'll have to go fast… so we apply the Ryanair methods!
The change of door was not indicated (passage from F49 to F51, or 5 meters) but good since there was only one flight left!
Note: this impromptu door change saved 5 minutes on the road…. :)
The skypriority in pre-boarding… sisi, the cattle over there!
Meanwhile the gladiators are in the back and cleaning in the living room in progress!!!!!
It must be said that the reserves are empty, and manage a plebeian riot in the middle of a sweet/salt hypoglycemic crisis….
The Pifometer instant (not to be confused with the PIFmeter, which is the unit of measurement for the stupidity of airport security officers:) )
The external view:
My living space
My survival in 3 volts:
Obviously the cleaning was long but sloppy
Act IV - The Flying Dutchman
Usual announcements with the indication of the delay as being caused by various delays accumulated throughout the day….
It is not good to have lied to us to hope to escape European compensation if we had been more than 3 hours late!
Flightradar easily confirms it, as well as the late departure of the next day!
"Night flight is synonymous with reduced RF"… takeoff at 23:58! it's dark.
Except… I'm going to fall asleep before FL 100 and I'll only be awakened by the very sudden touchdown on the Brest runway. It was quite violent and the wind easily justified it, the braking was even in the style of our friend the Irish tax expert who travels in blue and yellow.
It was 00:53 for a theoretical arrival at 23:00…
Quite a direct route it seems to me (at the same time there is no crowd).
In short, a rather short FR on the flight part (but I told you so, didn't I?) And then you only miss my coca in bottle with its sesame agglomerated in Italian industrial decoction:)
Act V - My cardboard suitcase
I then get my suitcase back, which followed perfectly. Labelled as a priority in Malaga, it will arrive in an honest first half of the batch. I admit that during the day it would have bothered me, now I'm beyond…
Note the presence on the stairs of the security guards who are watching, they will lock down the terminal as soon as the last pax leaves!
Act VI - Eine kleine Nachtmusik
Last gag of the evening: no taxi is present! The airport did not inform them of the slight delay….
Well, it's Bibi's phone that will call them and I would be happy to explain this ultimate gag to a group of Spaniards coming directly from Madrid?
Air France Lounge, 2F - F2
Paris - CDG
Brest - BES
What can I say?
On the flight itself, it is equivalent to my 300 round trips on this route to a ready chouilla. I use the Smart and Beyond cabin instead of the domestic laundry and its ironing boards. The presence of USB sockets is a real plus.
The Salon was far above my expectations in terms of reception: it was by no means certain that the staff would agree to stay and leave the entire Salon open for about ten people. The buffet remains as lean as ever, but the showers are a real plus. On information: I very harshly sanction the blatant lie about the reason for the delay. Too bad because otherwise I would have gone much higher. On the other hand, for lambda pax: nothing was offered (no water bottles) while all the shops in the terminal were closed...
I also note that AF has no spare crew or aircraft on its main hub; saving on candle ends says a lot about the robustness of the bearings....
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