Review of Emirates flight from Dubai to Chennai in Economy

PRELUDE

I intentionally waited until the World Cup final was over before publishing this trip report. The reason being a certain 35-year-old from Rosario, who figures at some point in this trip report, had his destiny snatched away from him many times before finally being able to conclude his glittering career with the greatest victory of all. This report wouldn’t have felt the same if not for Lionel Messi’s Argentina winning the World Cup, which has caused frenzied celebrations not only in Buenos Aires but also Bangladesh and many other parts of the world.

Back to aviation, though… to the airline that sponsored the World Cup until 2014, the last time Argentina made the final, after which its great rival from Doha has had all the FIFA bragging rights.

Introduction

This is a continuation of my previous flight to Dubai on Emirates on 13 June 2022. After enjoying all the sights that the moneyed Middle Eastern emirate had to offer for four days, ranging from world-famous attractions like the Burj Khalifa/Dubai Mall, the Palm Jumeirah and Atlantis to criss-crossing the Sheikh Zayed Road (the city’s main arterial road) and exploring some of the old areas of the city, it was time to return home to Chennai via DXB T3, the world’s largest airport terminal, whose prepandemic operations — driven predominantly by EK — had made it the world’s busiest airport for international operations and the third-busiest airport overall.

One little tidbit before we start: the official name of EK is, perhaps oddly, Emirates Airline. Not Airlines, but Airline. Some may have noticed this in EK’s official Twitter name, and others as a sponsor of some golf tournaments, but to the world at large that knows of only Emirates, this comes as something of a surprise. Then again, EK has always marched to the beat of its own drum and set the playing field for others, including in its official name, so it’s worth exploring what makes EK and its megahub at DXB tick — more so as an entire National Geographic series, Ultimate Airport Dubai, was released a decade ago. Starting with an essay of how DXB, the airport, is markedly different from Dubai, the city: while DXB is the largest (and, prepandemic, the busiest), it is by no means either the flashiest or the most awarded. Unlike Doha Hamad, whose sole mission in life is to overthrow Singapore Changi as the most luxurious and highest-rated airport in the whole world — a mission it has thus far had considerable success in, but for how long?

Does DXB have to outdo Hamad and Changi? Not necessarily

It seems that Doha is the only city in the Middle East — indeed, perhaps, in the whole world — whose Hamad Airport is determined to outdo Singapore Changi in its luxury, ostentatiousness and we-will-splurge-billions-because-we-can mindset. Even though Dubai has all the bragging rights to bling and luxe otherwise (a Netflix series entitled, fittingly enough, Dubai Bling was released recently), DXB has, surprisingly enough, never particularly tried to be the flashiest or the best airport in the whole world — despite being one of the largest and busiest airports out there. Other Middle Eastern airports like Abu Dhabi have either tried and given up or not bothered to up the stakes in this regard, which honestly is a good thing, because one Hamad and one Changi are more than enough for the world. This sentiment was shared by Traveller.com.au in its review of DXB some years ago.

Here’s the funny thing about DXB: you expect it to be amazing. You expect that because it’s the busiest airport in the world in terms of international passenger traffic, it will have all the bells and whistles, that because it’s in Dubai — an emirate with a maniacal insistence on having the biggest, the best and most expensive of everything — the airport will be a world leader. And yet, it isn’t. DXB, spread out over three terminals, is not great to look at, with no discernible architectural flair. It’s also crowded 24 hours a day, making any transit through here such a harried exercise that you rarely get to appreciate any design features that might exist. … Perhaps Dubai International is the victim of high expectations. Everything else in the emirate is world-leading — surely the airport will be? But it’s not, and that’s disappointing. It’s not all bad at DXB, this is still a modern facility with plenty to keep you amused. You just hope for more.

However, after several years living and working in Singapore, I have come to a point where I no longer think that the megamall that is Jewel Changi is something worth gaping at and gushing about every living, breathing second. Don’t get me wrong, it is definitely a must-see attraction for people visiting SIN from afar, but I guess living in Singapore for a long time does that to you. I see more locals going there to eat, using the superlative public transport system in Singapore, than to particularly stand in front of its gigantic fountain or other Instagrammable locations. As far as its being in an airport complex is concerned, I will be equally content in Suvarnabhumi or KLIA or any other major air hub, as long as it has plenty of restaurants and shops in order to keep me happy. And the same goes for DXB, which has more than enough for everyone, so you don’t need anything extraordinary — other than the mind-boggling size of the terminal.

Speaking for myself, any airport that is not as horrible as Chennai, my Indian home airport about I have written scathingly many times before, is good enough for me. The appalling upkeep, sullen, surly officials and complete lack of proper restaurants and shops make it a turn-off for every traveller. In contrast, many local people proudly hailed Terminal 2 of nearby Bengaluru’s Kempegowda Airport, which was inaugurated recently, as one of the best-looking in the world — with all its landscaping, greenery and architectural accomplishments — and I somewhat agree. For an airport, aesthetic-yet-functional design and having enough facilities for passengers are far more important and realistic goals to aspire for than spending billions on vanity and luxury. I think that DXB gets that fine balance perfectly, and that EK, the airline, does much more flexing and trumpeting about its giant global cachet and prowess than DXB, the airport.

The dilemma of Qatar (Airways): product accolades vs. humanitarian oppression

As far as QR and DOH are concerned, I do not have any specific reason to visit Hamad, but I do realise that while EK and DXB have reached a plateau, QR and DOH are riding on the explosive growth that has been focused on Qatar of late, particularly because of the ongoing World Cup. Now I should not be wearing rose-tinted spectacles here, because Qatar (Airways) has rightly been on the hook for multiple human-rights violations, from the plight of Nepali labourers building World Cup stadiums — it is said that QR A330s flying to Kathmandu had an extra storage space to accommodate the body of a deceased worker — to the sometimes horrifying living conditions of QR flight attendants, as was reported many years ago by the Swedish newspaper Expressen. However, I think that the latter issue of QR’s employee rights has definitely been swept under the carpet after the launch of the multi-award-winning Qsuite in 2017, which firmly placed QR as perhaps THE best airline in the world, at least in business class. Indeed, the more five-star reviews the airline, airport and country continue to get from the media, the less likely people are to see the multitude of issues that surround them.

Now it seems QR seems to be taking hardly any step wrong, both with regard to its exemplary product and service and its almost uninterrupted operations throughout the worst months of the pandemic, which almost no other airline could match. Despite my misgivings about the human-rights situation in Qatar, I will not hesitate to fly them when the time comes, but I have equally high regard for boutique carriers like Oman Air and Gulf Air. There was some finger-pointing that Hamad copied some or all of its concepts from Changi, but Akbar al-Baker — the radically visionary but infamously outspoken man who not only controls all civil aviation in Qatar, but is even the Chairman of the Oneworld alliance — decided, in his trademark fashion, to be the kettle that calls the pot (Changi) black. Never mind the fact that the name of Hamad’s new indoor tropical garden, The Orchard, has been ‘stolen’ from Singapore’s most famous shopping street…

It’s also an interesting, if sad, reminder that there was another Gulf carrier that had all these world-conquering ambitions: Etihad Airways from Abu Dhabi, which at one point was a genuine challenger to EK and QR — hence the term ME3. But it fell so hard and so fast from the glory days of the Residence and Apartment, bleeding billions of dollars in the process, that it was forced to reshape itself into a much more nimble and agile carrier, positioning itself as a premium boutique airline on par with Oman Air or Gulf Air, as its fantastic new A350-1000s will tell you. Even though the A380s are coming back at least on the London route, Etihad is a shell of its former self and it’s strange that people still use the term ME3. The only airline that can actually challenge Emirates and Qatar in the quest for global domination is a European one: Turkish Airlines. (Go figure that, for an airline that boasts serving the most countries in the world, TK doesn’t fly to Australia.)

Etihad’s fall has been Qatar’s gain, and as those ads at the World Cup will tell you, QR and Hamad never lose an opportunity to proclaim themselves as the WORLD’S BEST and MOST AWARDED AIRLINE AND AIRPORT. This ultimately gets at the immense amount of pride and hubris that Qatar (Airways) has, and QR has been lucky that it hasn’t lost as much as Etihad, but instead shone more brilliantly than even EK in many areas. I can only hope that the foundations underpinning world-famous luxuries like the Qsuite and the Al Mourjan/Al Safwa Lounge are not built on a house of cards that can collapse with the slightest pressure. This is something I’ll also say about RIA, the upcoming über-luxe Saudi startup based in Riyadh that wants to emulate EK and QR in a tenth of the time — to which end it has poached Tony Douglas, Etihad’s CEO who turned around the airline from ruin to profitability, but to what extent it will succeed I don’t know.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, and I must now return to the OG Middle Eastern aviation pioneer, Emirates.

Departure from Dubai

Friday, 17 June. A hearty breakfast at the Courtyard by Marriott Dubai World Trade Centre.

Who knew that Peugeot, the French car manufacturer, made salt and pepper mills besides a host of other lifestyle products?!

By this time, my prebooked airport transfer car was supposed to arrive. I cleaned out my room — save for the most important thing(!!!) — and checked out.

A posh Lexus was my ride for today — ahem, my first ride, as you will find out.

A view of the elegant, tasteful lobby, popular among business and leisure travellers alike.

The exterior of the hotel, which, while not located on Sheikh Zayed Road proper, was a stone’s throw away from the World Trade Centre metro station, with the Museum of the Future visible from a distance.

One Za’abeel, an H-shaped under-construction edifice, one of the most prestigious mixed-used developments in Dubai.

Palms, parks and skyscrapers.

More buildings of every kind as we approached the airport.

A mural with the biggest reason the UAE, and Dubai in particular, established itself on the world map as a global soft power and trade and transport hub. Now, if only the 777X (which this might very well be) would come a bit sooner, and the new first class suites with them… 

And so I was nearing the biggest terminal in the world, an icon in its own right, but one that never seems to make the award charts like Changi and Hamad.

It was only when I got down from the Lexus that I realised, recoiling in horror, that I had forgotten the bag with my passport in the hotel safe! Fortunately it was 11:15am, while the flight was departing at 2:45pm, so there was plenty of time to dash to the hotel and back. I had been through such tense situations before, sometimes of my own doing, so I coolly proceeded to the taxi stand in the arrivals area — since no one was allowed to pick up passengers once dropped off in the departures area — and explained my situation.

A female driver, Ethiopian I believe, agreed to whisk me to and from the hotel, where I shamefacedly informed the front desk and picked up my bag before returning to the airport at noon. Unlike most taxis, which were sedans, this was a Toyota Innova, an MUV that is popular in India — unlike most other global Toyota models, which are not sold in my country. The trip cost me 89 AED, which, while a waste, was perhaps for the best since I needed to exhaust my AED balance on my travellers’ forex card.

Once again I was face to face with the iconic tubular ad.

ChEK-ing in

Now I entered the check-in area, feeling premium about flying Emirates (who wouldn’t at first?) despite being an economy passenger.

Baggage drop, which I had never used before.

This being my first time dropping off bags at an automated machine, I appreciated that the instructions were concise and simple to follow.

Soon enough I was good to go, but an agent asked me to fill up my Air Suvidha form, which the Indian government mandated for all arriving passengers until it was scrapped in November. I had not done this, and it took some effort and a couple of attempts. Once it was done, I showed it to him and was able to proceed. The boarding pass was no more than a thin slip of paper — forget about even using proper card material!

As you well expect at Dubai, there were all manner of departures to every corner of the globe.

Next I went through security, followed by immigration at the Smart Gates.

Above immigration were ads for the FIFA World Cup in Qatar, which has now been held, six months on. That they are being shown in the UAE is something that would be unthinkable a couple of years ago, until it, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and Egypt ceased their boycott of Qatar in January 2021, restoring normal relations with it after severing them in June 2017.

No small amount of shopping and planespotting

Now I went up a level, to the sprawling departures section.

At the top (no pun on the Burj Khalifa intended!) was the sprawling Dubai International Hotel.

Then came the rows upon rows of Dubai Duty Free shops…

…along with smaller independent stalls. (This one hadn’t yet updated its signage to display the iPhone 13 series, and now the 14s are out as well — though the global supply issues regarding the Pro models are another matter!)

These were followed by food outlets like McDonald’s and Hard Rock Café.

The gate areas had a number of other shops like H&M and Costa Coffee. (Speaking of Messi, he has finally cemented his claim as perhaps the greatest player of football to have walked this earth. A World Cup final to end a glittering career.)

There was plenty of seating as well, surrounded by ads.

DXB knows it is no match for Hamad in the architectural department, but it is certainly no slouch when it comes to advertising.

Now I turned my attention to the diverse variety of aircraft here. Unlike Doha, which is dominated by the hometown Qatar Airways, DXB has a wide range of non-Emirates aircraft, particularly from the Middle East and the Indian Subcontinent but also Central Asia. Take this A321LR of Air Astana, for instance — it would do well to join an airline alliance within the next decade, in my opinion. You can also see YA-KME, an A340-300 belonging to Kam Air, the largest airline from conflict-ridden Afghanistan; like sanction-hit neighbour Iran, Afghan airlines exclusively fly planes built before 2001. (That is only a coincidence — nothing to do with the fall of the Taliban, which twenty years later returned to power in 2021.)

A wider (and much more cluttered) view of the broader, bustling Middle Eastern region. At the extreme left is YA-KMU, another Kam Air A340, on a flight to Medina. At the right is RA-73783 (formerly VQ-BQY), an Aeroflot A330-300 en route from Malé, one of its few remaining long-haul destinations after the large-scale sanctions on Russia. I could go on pointing out aircraft that I find fascinating, but I must become better at keeping my flight reports shorter.

One last picture from Flightradar24 for now. Notice the number of cargo flights from the American cargo airlines UPS Airlines (5X) and FedEx Express (FX), and, more interestingly, an Air Seychelles A320neo (S7-VEV) making the very short hop from Dubai World Central (DWC) to Sharjah. The Indian Ocean airline has shrunk drastically since its Etihad-managed days. Anyway…

Coming back to the terminal. The grammatical mistake is painfully obvious here!

Not far from my gate was EK566, departing to Bengaluru, a city that I have talked about (in no less than glittering terms) many times before…

…operated by a particularly glittering aircraft: A6-EGE, painted in the ‘Year of the Fiftieth’ livery. I had seen another 777 with this livery (A6-EPB) a few weeks prior when departing at night from Bangkok. This was the best picture I could get of Golf Echo… or should I say the Golden Empress?

Now BLR even receives the A380 from EK, making it the only Indian city other than Mumbai to have A380 service — a long time coming, in my opinion. (Delhi has never been served by the Emirates A380, and with SQ now withdrawing its A380 from there, India’s largest and busiest airport has zero A380 service. However, EK and SQ both fly the A380 to Mumbai.)

I proceeded to buy some alcohol for my father, who had sent me a list, knowing that foreign duty-free shops have good deals on drink. And, indeed, Father’s Day was approaching, as the below ads show.

Next to the lit-up shop was a ‘Help Needy Children’ donation box — lonely and isolated, unfortunately, but with a good amount of cash.

For myself, diehard avgeek that I am, I went straight to the Emirates merchandise shop…

…and got my hands on this beautiful model A380 in the Dubai Expo livery, based on the real-life A6-EEU. Now that the Expo has ended, the A380s with this livery have been given generic ‘Destination Dubai’ titles, but have retained their colours.

And for my mother, I bought a jar of peanut candies, shaped like an adorable burqa-clad Arab woman, plus a pair of equally cute Dubai mugs.

Then I headed to the McDonald’s and grabbed a meal from there.

Taxiing not far from sight was another aircraft in the ‘Year of the Fiftieth’ livery, an A380 this time…

…which turned out to be A6-EEX.

Now I found out that the aircraft operating my own flight would be A6-ENJ — continuing a series first started with Thai Airways earlier in the month, where the first aircraft of the type that I flew would have its registration ending with F (HS-THF; A6-EPF; later also 9V-SMF in October) and the second with J (HS-THJ; A6-ENJ, but not for SQ). Metaphorically, too, the first flight in each case was a first-class experience, and the second a J-class (business-class) experience. And isn’t this bird landing on an icy runway beautiful? In fact, it features at the end of my previous trip report on EK.

Boarding was called at 2:10pm, and for some reason I had lost my boarding pass, never to see it again. Fortunately I was able to show my digital boarding pass, vaccination certificate and Air Suvidha form on my phone, whose battery was almost finished. Good thing that I was flying on a 777-300ER with personal charging ports and not an IndiGo A320 with nothing of the sort!

The aerobridges were filled with aspirational advertisements by HSBC with lofty statements, as is also the case at Singapore.

Next to us was A6-EEG, which unlike A6-EEU or -EEX did not have anything special on the outside. Then again, how many times do I get to visit Superjumboland, moreso as it may not even be a decade before retirement?

The flight

Flight: Emirates Airline EK546/UAE546
Date: Friday, 17 June 2022
Route: Dubai International (DXB/OMDB) to Chennai (VOMM/MAA)
Aircraft: A6-ENJ, Boeing 777-300ER
Age: 9 years (first flight: 17 April 2013, delivered: 17 May 2013)
Seat: 32A (window)
Boarding: 2:30pm UTC +4 (4pm IST, UTC +5:30)
Departure: 3pm UTC +4 (4:30pm IST)
Arrival: 8:10pm IST (6:40pm UTC +4)
Duration: 3 hours 40 minutes

Notes:
* Second flight on Emirates Airline, on an A6-registered aircraft and on the 777-300ER, after the previous flight.
* First flight from Dubai (DXB).

I walked past the blingy, gold-decorated (but pitiful to miles-and-points enthusiasts) seven-abreast business class…

…and settled into my window seat, which was on the left side for a change.

The screen was somewhat lower-resolution than on the previous aircraft, and susceptible to glare — despite this plane, A6-ENJ, being only two years older than A6-EPF.

This was even more evident on the handset, and the drop in quality was appalling. Text was visibly grainy and sometimes hard to read. Still, it could be much worse, as with my most recent trip report on my terrible flight to Bangkok ten days later, which was operated by a 2007-built aircraft with a 1990s-like IFE system.

Cabin crew handed out a mask and sanitiser to each passenger.

Soon the plai-ENJ-ane safety video played.

We taxied out of the gate past A6-EEG…

…and who should I see but my old friend A6-EPF, the selfsame aircraft that had brought me here four days ago! Now Papa Foxtrot was on her way to Newcastle — not carrying coals, though!

Meanwhile an A380 took off behind us, which I could not identify.

This would be the last time I would be using my local SIM card, which was handed out for free at immigration; such a generous policy I am yet to see elsewhere. It expired permanently on leaving Emirati shores. I had used its data to the fullest during my time here, and very little was left.

Here are a few chats with my parents. It was nearly three o’clock before wheels up.

The last line in Hindi means that first and business class is written in my destiny!

Another A380 was hot on our tail: A6-EEN as EK57 to Düsseldorf. In the distance, to the right, you can see yet another 777 in the Year of the Fiftieth livery.

Before long, we were airborne, bringing to an end my lovely four-day stay in Dubai, though the Emirati experience was far from over.

Some flight information shortly after departure.

Entertainment and catering

Now I turned to the ice IFE system’s entertainment selection, by far the most exhaustive of any airline in the world. As usual, I gravitated towards Bollywood movies.

This time I settled on Bajrangi Bhaijaan (2015), a tearjerking drama about a simple-hearted Indian man who makes it a mission to reunite a mute Pakistani girl with her family, drawing both admiration and ire from both countries. It remains one of the highest-grossing Indian films of all time.

Equally unending was the music selection, covering most countries around the world. If EK can spend a billion dollars on its champagne programme — to the extent that it now has an exclusive contract with Dom Perignon, at Singapore Airlines’ expense — I’m inclined to believe it also pays a pretty penny for entertainment licensing rights.

The movie started with aspirational luxury ads for Piaget watches, the Atlantis Aquaventure amusement park (I had been to Atlantis the previous day) and Azizi, a real estate developer. Fortunately, these were skippable.

Despite the slightly grainy resolution, I enjoyed the movie playing out on the screen.

Again, the text on the handset was especially jagged, but this was a very small price to pay.

Some BBC news headlines, of particular interest being the recent sale of the Indian Premier League media rights that ran into billions of dollars.

At around 5:45pm IST (4:15pm Dubai time), the meal service was served; the cabin crew working our aisle were three Ms: Marta, Masha and Michael.

Today’s meal consisted of the following items:
(a) for starters, a potato chaat (tangy spiced potatoes) served with a savoury mix;
(b) the main course: mutton sukha, served with lentil rice and metal cutlery;
© the dessert: lauki kheer (bottle-gourd pudding), garnished with pista (pistachios) and kishmish (raisins);
(d) drinks: mango juice and Sprite, always a winning combination (if your airline happens to serve it);
(e) accompaniments: Mai Dubai water, bread-and-butter, mango pickle.

Not a particularly memorable meal, but it more than sufficed on a four-hour flight, hitting all the right spots. 

Here was the airshow at this point.

Another view of the airshow, this time with a cockpit-like view featuring all sorts of gauges and meters.

A view from the wing (no allusion to popular travel blog intended):

Online at 37,000 feet

Or 36,997 feet, as an above picture says… For the first time ever in my flying history, I was able to connect to the online Wi-Fi portal on this flight, which I could not on the outbound, or on any other airline — SQ and TG so far — for that matter.

The initial connection was only just enough to access the inflight menu and other services on board, as you can see above in the menu picture. I decided to go for full Internet access and shell out US$10 for it, because why not! When would I be flying Emirates again?

Once connected, I lost no time in tracking my own flight on Flightradar24. It felt so surreal to be able to see yourself flying above the Arabian Sea from your own phone instead of the IFE map.

By now we were approaching the coast of Maharashtra state, of which Mumbai is the capital.

A reminder was screened, asking passengers to wear their masks at all times. This, thankfully, is now a thing of the past.

In the later part of the flight, the cabin was largely silent, and mood lighting was turned on.

I filled out my journal with the proceedings of the flight, having largely paused watching the movie, though I skipped to the emotional climax and its rousing background score when the plane was nearing touchdown.

Briefly I tried out another movie I’d enjoyed on the ground: Dream Girl (2019), a comedy on a man impersonating female voices which I have touched briefly in my first trip report on Singapore Airlines at the beginning of 2022.

Touchdown

Before long it was 8pm IST and nearly time for landing, as we went in for final approach to Chennai Airport. To coincide with the descent, I fast-forwarded to the emotional climax of Bajrangi Bhaijaan, where the little girl, amid huge political tension, finally gets home in a happily-ever-after ending, thanks to her big-hearted guardian angel.

As the credits rolled, I took in the view outside, of the lights of my home city glowing up the night.

The nose camera put into perspective how luminously lovely a night landing can be.

We landed smoothly at 8:13pm IST, bringing an end to my surreal experience on Emirates, one that I will cherish for a very long time. On the runway was 4R-ALL, an A330-300 of SriLankan Airlines that is a common sight at Chennai Airport.

A post-flight survey was displayed, which of course no one bothered about.

We parked next to A6-ANX, an A320 of Air Arabia.

The nose camera provided a pretty cool view of our arrival.

Before long, it was as if the counters had reset, with me back home; the handset showed a thank-you message.

And now the painful parting: I had to step off this marvellous plane that, bar the slightly grainy screens, was an outright pleasure to fly into the sunset back home on. The passengers were a bit more orderly than on typical Indian flights where they rush to open the luggage bins.

At last I was on terra firma, and bid goodbye to A6-ENJ. As my father had said, I had indeed ‘ENJoyed’ this EKxperience!

There was a very interesting visitor from Réunion at this time! Air Austral, the airline of this French overseas department, sends its A220-300 once a week to Chennai — India’s only A220 flight.

Sadly there seems to be no flight into Chennai Airport without the government officials ruining things for you. The immigration queues can well be forgiven, since it was all over in fifteen minutes. But the queues at the baggage belt are a different matter. And on this flight with some 300 people, the baggage was bound to be delayed… by a good half-hour. Baggage collection started at 8:50pm, and it was not before 9:20pm, sweaty and tired, that I staggered out of the dilapidated arrival complex with my two suitcases in hand. And more than half the passengers still hadn’t got theirs… yes, well over an hour after landing.

The less time I spend in Chennai Airport, the better. But oh the joy at looking with pride at EK546, arrived on time — little did I know I would also tick MH180 off in four months’ time. I slumped into my car and set out for home, to conclude a wonderful journey to Dubai that will remain a high point of my travels — and to a large extent define how outstanding a year 2022 has been, which is fast drawing to a close, but not before I have a last hurrah with more flights in store!

Oh, and TG337 is one of those flights in a few days’ time. Let’s hope I finally get one of those two 787-9s this time, and not the rotten luck of the 777-200ER. With Argentina’s World Cup win, I have reason to believe that the odds are in my favour!

When I finally reached home, it was time to unbox A6-EEU and give her pride of place on my drawing-room coffee table!