Review of Thai Airways flight Bangkok → Chennai in Economy

Note: Coincidentially, at the time of writing (6–13 July 2023), my Kolkata-based cousin sister along with her parents and our maternal grandmother are holidaying in Thailand, in Bangkok and Pattaya. It is my grandmother’s first time ever outside Indian territory since Independence in 1947. However, since they flew on Thai AirAsia, it was to Don Mueang (DMK) Airport and not Suvarnabhumi. This brought back memories of the one time I had visited Thailand outside an airport, in May 2016, also on Thai AirAsia and via DMK — which also included a trip to the temple city of Chiang Mai (CNX) in the north.

Before I start, I’ll first post the video of the rainbow mood lighting of the Thai Airways 787-9 as it lit up the cabin during landing. It is too breathtaking not to put first.

Introduction: Violet outside, rainbows inside

This is the second edge of the ‘Hexagon’: my series of six flights for the Christmas 2022/New Year 2023 break across South India and Southeast Asia. I pick up from where I left off: a Singapore Airlines regional A350 to Bangkok, or what I fondly call ‘Flight 714’ after the Tintin book of that name. Now comes a rather rare aircraft in the Thai Airways fleet, the 787-9, of which it only has two, and flies them to only three consistent destinations in Summer 2023 — Nagoya, Japan (TG644/645); Seoul/Incheon, South Korea (TG652/653); and my former home city of Chennai, India (TG337/338) — though there are occasionally others. This was, by and large, also the case in December 2022, where HS-TWB (a Technicoloured Winged Beauty) arrived from Seoul before taking me to Chennai. Previously I had flown Thai Airways to India, but that was TG325 to Bengaluru on the A350, for a brief night’s stay (in a luxurious airport hotel) before continuing to Chennai in the morning.

Having had the wretched fortune of the awful 777-200ER in June 2022 on the TG338 MAA–BKK leg, I was hoping for better luck this time around, as I would be flying the 787-9 for the first time on any airline, and also wanted to see how it compared to the A350, which I had flown thrice that month alone. TG337/338 remains a good route to consistently get the 787-9, as many other TG routes are undergoing chopping and changing, and it is a roll of the dice where you may get the slick A350 one day and the rattling 777-200ER the next. Now that Thai Airways has officially started to operate the A320, which it has taken from Thai Smile, this adds a bit more complexity for an airline that has always been known for a piecemeal fleet with small numbers of aircraft of multiple types — and the 787-9 is the smallest subfleet of all. First let me put that, and a bit more, into a ’news headlines’ kind of roundup.

Some personal news updates for early July 2023

Chennai’s new international terminal has finally opened. It may have been inaugurated on 8 April, three months ago, but it was only in the first week of July 2023 that all international carriers operating at India’s third-busiest airport for international flights (and sixth overall) have finally switched over to the new integrated terminal building (NITB), which shows that this much-maligned government-run airport is finally showing some signs of keeping up with Bengaluru, Hyderabad, Mumbai and other private airports. Astonishingly, an international arrivals building had finished construction as far back as 2013, but never opened for the past decade, which only goes to show how much political indifference has been disastrous for this major hub airport of a key Indian city.

At long last, passengers will no longer have to go through the ‘cattle shed’ of the 1980s (which will now be demolished), instead getting a far nicer and more modern terminal, but it will still be without WHSmith and Relay bookshops, and it is the only Indian metro airport lacking them. Fortunately I no longer need to suffer as I can now enjoy the fabulous Kempegowda Airport at Bengaluru, where I returned from a few days ago after buying a bunch of books from Relay and some cool, exotic drinks (of the non-alcoholic kind) from WHSmith. (However, nothing can alleviate the two-hour traffic-hit travel time, all the more so since Kempegowda is located some distance northeast of the city while our new home is in the southern end. Sweetening the pill, however, is the fact that all international flights will move to the spanking-new T2 from September, and I am waiting for the jaw to drop from the brilliance of T2 for my next trip home in November for Diwali!)

Another 787-9 coming up for me — this time on Ethiopian (again). I have a nifty little trip planned at the end of July: I’m sneaking in a very brief four-hour journey to Kuala Lumpur on 30 July, the last Sunday in the month, as I can see that Ethiopian Airlines is flying the 787-9 on its 4x weekly ET638 afternoon SIN–KUL sector, instead of the older and smaller 787-8, which I had flown in May on the late-night ET639 KUL–SIN service. This time the return will be after barely a few hours in KL — where I plan to visit Putrajaya, Subang Jaya, Bandar Sunway, Puchong and other suburbs that are not as far from KLIA as the main city is — and it will be on Jetstar Asia Airways (flight 3K688) which I have never flown before.

I have been planning to fly Jetstar Asia for quite some time, as they don’t fly to South Asia unlike AirAsia or Scoot, instead staying within ASEAN with their small fleet of A320ceos: a fleet that’s very similar to Thai Smile (no A320neos or A321s, and a single registration series: 9V-JS* and HS-TX*). That will be the extent of my travels for the time being, as I do not intend to fly at all from August to October, with the next trip being only for the Diwali or Deepavali festival in November. Still, since ET has ten 787-9s (ET-AUO/AUP/AUQ/AUR, ET-AXK/AXL/AXS/AXT and ET-AYC/AYD) in the fleet or on order, with ET-AXT having entered service only days ago — a 500% bigger subfleet than TG’s pair of 787-9s — it should be an exciting comparison between two Star Alliance members and what they have to offer on this long-legged beauty!

Thai Airways’ fleet PLAN: new A350s and newish A320s — but also old 777-200ERs

The past few months have seen Thai Airways slowly take on more aircraft to cater to the skyrocketing postpandemic demand. It has welcomed two A350s, HS-THO and HS-THP, that were not delivered to Hainan Airlines — and many intended-for-Hainan planes have gone to other airlines like Lufthansa’s 787-9s — and it will take as many as nine more of those in the next few months, which will fly mostly to Europe, Australia and China. Also, with the impending merger with Thai Smile (one of only two ‘Star Alliance Connecting Partners’, alongside Shanghai-based Juneyao Airlines), it has also decided to take over four of the latter’s A320s, starting with HS-TXQ and HS-TXR, which fly all-economy flights to Delhi (TG323/324) and Mumbai (TG351/352). I wouldn’t be surprised if Thai Smile’s two Indian routes* — Kolkata (WE313/314) and Ahmedabad (WE341/342) — are also shifted to Thai Airways’ all-economy A320s. Kolkata, in particular, has had a very confusing fleet strategy: after being served entirely by Thai Smile for 2022, it was upgraded to TG’s 787 in January 2023, only to be downgraded again to Thai Smile in May.

Such confusion has been detrimental to the airline by turning off customers, and the single Thai Airways brand should hopefully eliminate a lot of that, even if the aircraft are all-economy A320s. Moreover, having not received a single new narrowbody aircraft since HS-TXU some seven–eight years ago, the post-merger TG will also be taking on some A321neos in the next few years. (The transfer of those two A320s also makes Thai Airways the only large Southeast Asian flag carrier — with Royal Brunei Airlines being rather too small — to operate the A320 in its mainline fleet. Philippine Airlines’ A320s are all operated by PAL Express, with the mainline having only A321s, as is also the case for Vietnam Airlines; meanwhile, Garuda Indonesia, Malaysia Airlines and more recently Singapore Airlines have all sided with the 737. Funnily enough, TG operated the antiquated 737-400 until 2018, and so had no narrowbodies from then until 2023. With this development, every single Star Alliance member now operates narrowbody aircraft!)

Unfortunately, as far as fleet refurbishments are concerned, TG has made it exceedingly clear that it would much rather restore parked aircraft to the skies (read: A330-300s and 777-200ERs, as these were owned by the airline rather than leased) and cater to the spike in capacity than spend resources to retrofit them and lose out on revenue in the process. With four out of six of those no-gooder 777-200ERs already in the air, HS-TJR was also brought back some time ago, leaving only HS-TJU in storage. I wish it brought back more A330-300s than 777-200ERs, as it still has only three of those in the air. The sooner those HS-TJ* planes are sent to the scrapyard, the better for the passenger experience, and that will only happen if TG brings more A350s or even A330s online to take its fleet count over 50.

But all that’s for later, and now I want to step once again into that cabin filled with rainbow mood lighting, with the tune of We are One (Olé Olá), Waka Waka, Hayya Hayya and other World Cup songs!

*These two are Thai Smile’s only Indian destinations in the summer schedule; in the winter, it also operates to the Buddhist religious destination of Gaya, among others.

beckoning Bangkok again

Thursday, 22 December, continued. I was stepping off one ultramodern widebody of a Star Alliance airline and hoped, in a few hours, to be stepping on another such cutting-edge widebody of another Star Alliance airline, but this time a dogged arch-rival, and a far less profitable one at that. After 9V-SHJ, all hopes were now pinned on HS-TWB — now that TWA, TG’s only other 787-9, had left for Lahore, Pakistan (a country that’s roundly ignored by all other Southeast Asian carriers) — but first she had to make it in time from Seoul.

The dull, gloomy industrial architectural design of Suvarnabhumi may be breathtaking by day, but it isn’t half as impressive when the sun is on the other side of the earth.

What Suvarnabhumi’s arrivals section did have, though, was ornate murals against a nighttime backdrop, something that was a welcome break from the factory-like ceilings. (Another airport where I saw such paintings — and for sale at that — was Soekarno–Hatta T3 at Jakarta, where no sooner do you step off the aircraft than you find these exquisitely detailed black-outlined artworks. They come with a WhatsApp number in a tiny box at the side, should you want to part with tens of millions of rupiah and leave an airport wall a little less beautiful!)

That BKK is no Changi by way of design delights was made clear by the 1990s-ish board of arrivals in a green text, with the COVID-19 advisory below being the only thing from the 2020s. The flights were from all over the place: Da Nang, Taipei, Sapporo, Yangon and even Gaya, a Buddhist religious destination in the northeast Indian state of Bihar that Thai Smile serves seasonally, during the winter.

Passengers continued to their destinations: either immigration and baggage or the transfers section, as per the case.

Who said mergers are happening only at airlines? Telcos are at it, too

An airport is also an avenue for telecom companies to hawk their wares to arriving passengers, and here — underneath the tubelights and gloomy office-like corridors — it was all about the lime green of AIS and its ‘fastest, strongest’ 5G network. To draw a comparison with my recent trip to Indonesia once again, I much prefer Telkomsel’s setup in the dazzling fragrance-filled arrival hall of Denpasar, all the more since it (which, like AIS, is owned by Singtel) had introduced a spectacular rebrand two years before, with pretty custom fonts that was leaps and bounds better than what it replaced. The English, too, is far better than the broken staccato sentences that are the norm in Thailand.

Unless you have a SIM card from AIS or the now-merged dtac–TrueMove H entity — or a roaming pack from your local provider, in my case Singtel — you will have no choice but to grin and bear with the ludicrous Wi-Fi offering of AOT Airports, which deserves to be bashed every time I talk about it. Noisy ads, a one-hour connection time, needless registration details, poor coverage: in short, everything that the marvellous Malaysia Airports’ 24-hour Wi-Fi at KLIA is not. Another factor that turns me in favour of that glittering FarSouthOfTheCity airport that almost could’ve been Changi 2.0.

Keeping the topic on SIM cards, dtac, the country’s then-number-three operator, had a much smaller kiosk of its own, beside an airport shuttle operators whose buggies had the looks of a luxury Toyota Alphard/Vellfire MPV, but with a fraction of the height!

Note: In March 2023, dtac — owned by Telenor of Norway — merged with the number two operator, TrueMove H. This is similar to the merger in Malaysia of Digi, also owned by Telenor, with Celcom, the flagship operation of the pan-Asian Axiata conglomerate. In both cases the combined entity overtook the thus-far-insurmountable market leaders: AIS and Maxis, respectively. Such mergers have become rather commonplace in Asia, ranging from Indosat Ooredoo Hutchison in Indonesia, to Vodafone Idea in India, though neither of those two have managed to dethrone Telkomsel or Jio (the respective leaders by huge margins) as CelcomDigi and True/dtac did.

Moving onto a more fashionable topic were these ads for Jim Thompson, a well-known Thai silk emporium named after the American businessman who single-handedly revived the Thai silk industry.

But those were few and far between. Far more common were ads for all manner of feminine skincare products, from foams to serums to sunscreens, as well as a cosmetic-surgery hospital promoted by an equally svelte woman.

Towards the transfers section was another neon-green AIS 5G kiosk and an airport information counter. I went up the escalator, leaving the dreary grey environs behind.

Security at Suvarnabhumi requires you to take off your shoes in addition to the typical electronics and metallic items. Before long I was out, with an Indian mother and kids behind.

If the lower floor has AIS 5G kiosks strewn all over, the upper floors are where King Power Duty Free, the most visible tenant at Suvarnabhumi, makes its presence felt.

Situated at regular intervals were charging stations, rolled into which was another opportunity for advertising eyeball revenue, in this case for Singapore Airlines’ low-cost subsidiary which was celebrating ten years of ‘Scootin’’. I have never really cared for it — the Spirit Airlines of Asia (with their similarities right until their yellow livery and starting/ending letter) — as its over-the-top cheekiness gets too on-the-nose too fast.

It was nearing on eight, and I knew going in that I would not be able to select my seat in advance, as seems to be the case when departing BKK.

I now proceeded to the C-gates, with a gnawing sense of worry over whether I would indeed get the 787-9 or once again be consigned to the wretched 777-200ER.

Almost touching those high ceilings were ads for Mastercard (which I also saw at the gleaming immigration counters at Ngurah Rai) and the IHG hotel group with its ‘Guest How You Guest’ campaign.

These alternated with a video for Siam Premium Outlets Bangkok, which as you’d expect had a flamboyant female patron flaunting dresses, bags and heels.

Meanwhile, passengers — many of them Indian — made their way through the ding-dong-ing travellators to the gates.

In this case, WE341 to Ahmedabad, a western Indian metropolis and currently one of Thai Smile’s two Indian destinations alongside Kolkata, which has flip-flopped between the mainline and the budget division.

Next to a golden Thai pagoda and bonsai-like tree sculpture was a hastily taped sign notifying passengers on China Airlines flight CI836 to ‘Teipei’ (which had departed several hours before) that their gate had changed to C6. Six months later, I would be flying their SkyTeam partner Garuda Indonesia on this very flight number — GA836 — from Jakarta to Singapore, while the crowds next door at CGK T3 queued up to board another China Airlines flight, CI762 this time.

Those passengers who weren’t boarding any time soon lounged about on the chairs, or, in the case of the little one below, curled up with legs up. Behind stood an Emirates A380 (A6-EOV). Quite a similar-looking registration to ET-AOV, Ethiopian’s 787-8 which I got in May for the short late-night KL-to-Singapore hop.

Shop and eat — and walk — till you drop

Soon I got tired of the suspense and headed to the various bakeries and eateries on the top floor of the complex.

Then came this Boots pharmacy, an unlikely presence for the British drugstore chain far from Old Blighty.

Placed at critical junctures were typical Thai pagoda installations that provided quite the contrast to…

…the glitzy shops, boutiques and restaurants that were as suited for a posh high-street mall as this otherwise drab-looking major international airport. But for their glamorous presence on the top floor, BKK may well have been the worst-looking major international airport in Asia.

As the clock neared nine I proceeded to the transfer counters, but the nearest ones happened to serve only Lufthansa Group airlines, with Thai Airways in a different place altogether. And so it was a long trudge to another area of the single terminal building. Pros and cons of a single terminal building: you don’t need skytrains like Changi, but you must be prepared for endless walking as a result.

En route were some more high-end restaurants and budget-friendly booths.

And, of course, some souvenir shops, as well as a bright setup for Camden Food Company.

After what felt like a kilometre’s worth of to-and-fro-ing, I came across the Thai Royal Orchid Lounge for business-class passengers and Star Alliance elite members. The patrons looked a happy bunch as they dined and chatted in the tastefully lit, air-conditioned ambience of the place. Too bad the better-known Royal First Lounge, known for its complimentary spa treatments, is no more.

At long last I arrived at the transit counters for TG passengers, half a world away from the C-gates where I would be departing from.

Here I was handed my boarding pass, where the assigned seat interestingly was for 35E, a middle seat in the middle section of the aircraft. Now I wouldn’t have chosen that seat for myself, but I never complain about any hardship during my travels and always choose to look at the positives. In this case, the middle-middle provided the best vantage point to take in the rainbow mood lighting that really made me feel like I was in a planetarium or amphitheatre in the skies!

Will Her Royal Thainess please stand up at the gate?

It was only now that HS-TWB finally touched down from Seoul, and I was still not very convinced that this was supposed to be my aircraft. A voice in a corner of my mind continued insisting that I would once again get the hopeless HS-TJ* series of -200ERs, despite reason and recent history suggesting otherwise.

Anyway, I moved past some more perfume and cosmetics shops that half-made me wish I either were a woman or had one in my life to buy these precious (no)things for.

An airport that loves travellers — as King Power proudly declared here — is one that, arguably in my opinion, fights for every last dollar in their wallet by tempting them with all sorts of goodies and compelling them to part with their hard-earned money.

After some more roving and tramping around I finally came across Coffee World. Here I would quench my hunger and thirst by way of a substantial quesadilla and strawberry smoothie, in addition to charging my phone and writing a note of lamentation, bemoaning my fate of (apparently) getting the 777-200ER once again — which I threw into the dustbin soon enough!

As the clock approached ten, I finally decided to proceed to the towering arches of the C-gates, almost certain that I would get the ratchety 777-200ER all over again.

Mine was C10, at the far end of the series of travellators, and people had already started to queue up.

Wait… what was that? Why were her wings pointing up? Was this actually a 787?!?! 

On closer inspection, the nosewheel letters turned out to be… WB!!! I almost did two cartwheels in joy, seeing that first 787-9 of mine, after moaning for the whole evening that I would get the HS-TJ-series once more.

At a quarter past ten, the queue started to fill up, consisting largely of Chennai locals.

But not before the Wi-Fi, having already disconnected thrice, served me one last little dose of vengeance with an Axa insurance ad promoting its Emma chatbot. Speaking of which, I’m glad we are well past those days of early 2022 when Thailand required every transiting or arriving passenger to buy insurance, with Axa’s Sawasdee plan being what I had chosen.

Here was all the info on our ride tonight. Her Royal Thainess Phrom Buri, Hotel Sierra Tango Whisky Bravo, constituting half of the smallest subfleet at Thai Airways International.

At half-past ten, most people had lined up to board…

…leaving behind a forlorn kiosk by the state-owned NT (National Telecom Public Company Limited), presumably for browsing the Internet, that no one gave any regard to.

I practically danced down the jetbridge.

Surprisingly, tucked into a forgotten corner of the jetbridge were a couple of novels, one clearly a Western tearjerker romance (All your Perfects by Colleen Hoover) and the other probably a goth-like manga book, though I cannot say for sure.

Here, now, was the windowside view of Whisky Bravo, replete with that hoaxy Wi-Fi sticker — something that never seems to work on TG — and even the Star Alliance logo (with the tiny text at the bottom almost invisible, dwarfed as it is by the pointy pentagram) which is almost impossible to capture during boarding otherwise.

The flight: Boarding and departure

Flight: Thai Airways International TG337/THA337
Date: Thursday, 22 December 2022
Route: Bangkok Suvarnabhumi (VTBS/BKK) to Chennai (VOMM/MAA)
Aircraft: HS-TWB, Boeing 787-9 Dreamliner, named Phrom Buri
Age: 5.2 years at the time (first flight: 15 October 2017, delivered: 30 October 2017)
Seat: 35E (middle)
Boarding: 10:30pm UTC +7 (9:00pm IST, UTC +5:30)
Departure: 11:10pm UTC +7 (9:40pm IST)
Arrival: 12:30am IST (2:00am UTC +7)
Duration: 2 hours 50 minutes

Notes:
• First flight on the Boeing 787-9 Dreamliner on any airline. Previously I had flown the 787-8 on Air India and the 787-10 on Singapore Airlines. In May I flew the 787-8 on Ethiopian Airlines, and I plan to fly their 787-9 at the end of July. As you can see, I have flown 787s only on Star Alliance airlines.
• Fifth flight overall on Thai Airways after four in June 2022, three A350s and one unwanted 777-200ER. In 2023, at least, it is highly unlikely that I will fly on TG or to BKK.
• First flight in a middle seat (E-seat) in the middle section of the plane.
• Completely unrelated to aviation, but the first-flight date and delivery date of this aircraft have special significance for me as an aficionado of the Indian television industry. Zee, one of India’s biggest TV broadcasters, had a mega-rebrand of all its TV channels on 15 October 2017, when HS-TWB took her first flight, and the non-TV properties rebranded on 30 October 2017, when Thai Airways took delivery of her. Like TG, Zee too has a violet-coloured corporate logo.

The Royal Silk business class on the 787-9 looks nearly the same as on the A350 to me, with the mauve/burgundy upholstery. What do I know, since I’m not going to earn KrisFlyer/Royal Orchid miles towards my Star Alliance Gold status any time soon!

Economy, too, was virtually inseparable from the Airbus, with subdued orange-brown and purple-red seats that were a contrast to the much brighter hues on the rattling 777-200ER.

Where the TG A350 and 787 differ, however, is in the little details. Where the A350 has a splendid tail camera that I enjoyed so much on my three TG A350 flights, this 787 instead showed something — on loop — that I have never seen before on TG: an Amazing Thailand tourism video. As you’d expect, it was filled with bikini-clad Westerners lounging on the pristine sands of islands like Ko Phi Phi or snorkelling in the aquamarine waters of the Andaman Sea.

Personally I much prefer SriLankan Airlines’ version, both because it is much better at representing the hospitality and friendliness of that tropical island, and also because it has two globally famous celebrities (Jacqueline Fernandez and Kumar Sangakkara) from that country than generic Caucasians.

As the cabin crew conducted their lock-the-overhead-latches routine, the bikinis and beaches gave way to nightlife and partying with plenty of drink to go around.

Only after this had shown itself for a good ten minutes or so did the IFE give way to the standard Welcome to Thai Airways screen, whose violet-and-orange clouds and flowers I consider to be the most beautiful in the world. It even had an inset for the moving map, but minus the tail camera of the A350.

However, for all the violety goodness, I’ve always felt that Thai Airways — and Thailand in general — isn’t very good in the quality of English as Malaysia/Singapore (Airlines) are. That’s evident in the safety card, riddled with errors and unprofessionalism, and a far cry from Malaysia Airlines’ flawless safety card, which like every other thing at that airline uses the famous Gotham font perfectly.

Much better, though, was this pretty airsickness bag with its simple, pretty square design and the cute Avenir font. This pattern is also found on Thai Airways’ paper cups (readily available at your nearest lavatory), which I strongly prefer to the plastic cups at most other airlines with their near-invisible logos, with Garuda Indonesia being the only other with an amazing paper-cup aesthetic.

Before the dazzling rainbow-lights show, there would be an equally colourful rainforest show, a.k.a. Thai Airways’ inflight safety video. Time and again I’ve spoken about it, and while it certainly makes quite the impact, Thailand is not really known for its tropical rainforests like Brazil — or, closer to home, Indonesia — is. Yes, it’s far more than beaches on the one hand and Bangkok on the other, but it might have been a bit more true (no pun intended on the country’s largest telecom operator post-merger!) if TG showed the temples of Chiang Mai — actually the second-largest city in the country — or the rice fields of the Isan region in the northeast. And what are Michelangelo-like cherubic angels doing there alongside those too-polished, too-pretty girls?

This done, I checked out the royal-purple IFE system that appears more like blue in these pictures.

The moving map had only just begun to move, along with the plane itself, as we pulled out of the gate.

We went past the El Al Israel Airlines 777-200ER (4X-ECB) that I had identified in the previous report, as well as the Qatar Airways A380, which — along with Asiana Airlines’ double-decker (the other Korean airline isn’t flying its A380 to BKK in the summer) — is a superjumbo that is a daily staple at Suvarnabhumi but never flies to Changi.

Finally, finally, it was time for the grand spectacle of the flight: the Technicoloured Winged Beauty showed off her greatest asset, immersing her passengers in a colourplay of rainbows, the mood lighting cycling through every hue of the spectrum during the taxi. The first time I was not prepared to record it, but during landing I did, and I have attached the video at the top of the page there as well.

At last, at eleven minutes past eleven, HS-TWB took off into the night, with this being the best shot I could get. It captures more of the seats, IFE screens and wall than the sizzling skyline out the windows, but it will have to do: I’d already had my fill of stunning sunset shots on Flight 714 earlier in the day!

Of course, this being the self-designated Olé Olá Day, the 2014 FIFA World Cup’s theme song pervaded the atmosphere as it had done on Flight 714.

Where the IFE stands for Intensive Food Exploration!

Thai Airways’ unbranded IFE system is by no means comparable to an ice (Emirates) or a KrisWorld (Singapore) in terms of content, but I suppose there’ll be just about enough for Hollywood-watchers. Not Indians, though: the selection of Bollywood movies is laughable and negligible — with no more than three at a time, none of which are well-known — and nothing in other languages.

Saina and Shiddat were recent enough, being released in 2021 — with the former being a biopic on Indian badminton icon Saina Nehwal — while Bol Bachchan was an older comedy from 2012. Still, none of them were anywhere near Southern megablockbusters like RRR or Pushpa: The Rise in terms of brand recall. It pains me to see just how little effort TG puts into its Indian IFE selection. Even MH’s A330-300, with its woefully unusable and ad-ridden system, had a wider range of content catering to the world’s most populous country.

Music, however, was a much better story. If on the June A350 flights there were some rousing tracks from the recent Bollywood films Shershaah and Mimi, this time there were not only classics from the evergreen legend Mohammed Rafi, but also romantic tunes from all eras. However, I wouldn’t be trying them out tonight for obvious reasons.

Not long after departure was a banner advertising TG’s inflight Wi-Fi service, Thai Sky Connect, but I have never been able to connect to it. Like its IFE selection, inflight connectivity is not Thai Airways’ strong suit.

Where TG does show some creativity, however, is in its kids’ mode, which takes a much more complete and full-fledged approach to ‘getting’ what little ones want than the woeful equivalent on Singapore Airlines. The flying little Thai plane with a pilot’s cap reminded me somewhat of the dinosaurs used by the kids’ mode of the Arc moving-map system on Vistara’s A321neo and 787, which I had seen in March flying to Mumbai.

Above all, the single most noteworthy feature of the ‘Royal Orchid Entertainment System’ — a name that is by no means official, but should have been — more than makes up for its shortfall in other areas: an exploration into Thai culture, cuisine and celebrations. It’s far more in-depth than on any other airline I’ve seen — Emirates included — and, what’s more, TG also features a ‘Travelport’ app in its moving map that provides detailed overviews of major destinations, which I’ve covered in a previous review.

For the small fraction of the TG-flying population who are blissfully ignorant of the wonders arising from the kitchens of Thailand, this detailed inflight catalogue-cum-cookbook (recipes included) should more than set their taste buds drooling with delight.

Equally impressive was a section on the festivals of Thailand, one for each month of the calendar.

Of course, I couldn’t do without viewing the fleet page: a tearful goodbye to the lovely A340-600, 747-400 and A380 (and, temporarily at least, the A330-300) — and a good fat riddance to the non-ER 777-200/300, a completely undesirable aircraft. However, the unworthy 777-200ER refuses to die at Thai Airways, unlike Asiana/Singapore/Vietnam Airlines, which have thankfully thrown it out in favour of A350s, and 787s in the latter two cases.

But I’m not complaining as long as TG continues to fly the two most defining twinjet widebodies of this century, which sadly Garuda Indonesia never will: even though GA has the A330-900neo in its stable, and has also ordered the extremely rare A330-800neo, nothing will ever compare to the A350. 

Last but not least was the terribly outdated routemap, which at least didn’t show the Los Angeles route via Seoul that was eventually axed in 2015. Still, not that much has changed between Olé Olá and Hayya Hayya, except perhaps in the Middle East, where Dubai and Muscat have given way to Jeddah, which has been surprisingly popular for an avowedly, staunchly Buddhist country.

Catering and descent at tHE END OF THE RAINBOW

At 11:40pm Thai time (10:10pm IST) — barely half an hour after takeoff, far faster than on almost all other flights I’ve taken of this length — the meal for the night was served. First up were the accompaniments: the cute little purple Royal Orchid bottle of water and the far less cute bread roll and packet of almonds.

Now came the actual dinner (and I’m going off of my memory since there were no descriptions of any kind): the Indian vegetarian option, matar paneer — peas with cottage cheese — and basmati rice, served alongside delicious flaky parathas, or the D-shaped breads below, and a cup of apple juice. (The non-veg alternative was a spicy Thai basil chicken with rice, which I’ve had umpteen times in Singapore.) Dessert was a perfectly serviceable white cake with what looked like currants and a single strawberry, but nothing will compare to the sinfully purple cake on my earlier TG flight to Bengaluru that was as purple a dream as could be. All in all, so much nicer than the disappointment I was served on Flight 714 by Singapore Airlines.

Let’s play a game of ‘count the number of times you can spot “A Star Alliance Member” ’, shall we?

I might also mention at this point that, in my standard journal entry — half of which was given to the near-despondency arising from the fear of getting an old plane again — I’d taken a note of the female cabin crew serving my aisle: the young Jiratchaya N. and Kantiya N. on the right, and a lovely older lady (the inflight manager) called Atchaneeporn to the left. This was far and away the most personable cabin crew member of Thai Airways I’ve seen: always fawning over her passengers, asking them their choices. ‘Do you want to have orange juice, apple juice, tomato juice?’ ‘Would you like some Coca-Cola?’ ‘Take your time, don’t hurry. We will collect only those who have finished.’ All this with a beaming smile on her face!

Atchaneeporn, with her hard-to-spell-name (trust Thai names to end with those four letters!), is a great asset to Thai Airways and another reason why veterans often do a better job than the fresh young girls straight out of training school, who are polite and professional but can sometimes be plasticky, as I’ve often seen on SQ and Vistara. In a similar vein, an unassuming old little A319 of Air India — on my late-March evening flight out of Mumbai — was greatly elevated by Monali, Pinaz and Shilpi, the rockstar crew who went far above and beyond the plain old tunics from ages past.

By now I had finally grown weary of We are One (Olé Olá) and replaced it with Waka Waka (This Time for Africa), which for most people is the defining song for all FIFA World Cups. It was over two hours into the flight, with another to go.

Some twenty minutes before landing — midnight Indian time, as you can see — the pre-landing announcement was made. I do not recollect a captain’s announcement being made during the flight.

As always on TG, there was a notice about turning off the connectivity service, but that hardly made any difference. This was when a baby took it unto himself, as babies always do on a plane, to screech his tiny lungs out throughout the duration of the descent and drown out any other noise that could possibly have been made.

Only now did I pay attention to the white-backlit IFE remote, and the curious QWERTY keypad at the back, which I’d also seen on the TG A350. While not a clunky grey-and-white 1990s contraption, it was still an anachronism for this touch-and-tap generation, never mind its illuminating presence.

This time I didn’t spend too long exploring the seat features, as I had already done so on my previous A350 flights with Thai.

We really were homing in — pun very much intended.

There was another rainbow show shortly before landing. Here’s the same video that I put at the top, which I recorded it during landing and not takeoff, but the effect is spectacular all the same. (Well, minus the bawling baby. The poor thing’s parents had a terrible time calming him down.)

The Technicoloured Winged Beauty kissed the ground at half-past midnight, skidding through Chennai’s runway, with the terrified infant doing his best — and succeeding — in overpowering the two-engined beast in the screaming stakes. So much so that the post-landing announcement — where TG thanked its Star Alliance partners All Nippon Airways and Asiana Airlines, in addition to Bangkok Airways, who were all codesharing on this flight — was all but drowned out.

South Indians scarcely wait before the aircraft has ground to a halt, instead scrambling to get their bags from above and get out.

There were plenty of other widebodies for company on the ground — unlike TG325 to BLR half a year prior, where HS-THJ was the only widebody in sight at Kempegowda Airport. Of these, Ethiopian typically sends its 737 MAX to Chennai, but this time around it was ET-ASH, a 2015-vintage 787-8. Lufthansa and Air France, on the other hand, had sent the age-old but refurbished D-AIFF (A340-300) and F-GZCC (A330-200), built within a month of each other: December 2001 and January 2002, respectvely. Also present was 9K-CBI, an A320neo of Jazeera Airways from Kuwait.

Before I knew it, I was at the ‘cattle shed’ of an arrivals hall for what I hoped was the last time — which indeed turned out to be the case, as my next (and, so far, final) arrival to Chennai in March involved the superior domestic terminal, having cleared immigration at the intricate, ornately decorated Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Airport.

It is never a pleasant thing to have to jostle with other passengers for your luggage at one in the morning, but that is how it is with Indian international arrivals, which are overwhelmingly during the after-hours, when any sane person will want to turn in their bed instead of turning their luggage off the conveyor belt.

It was only at one-thirty that I managed to locate my father and faithful driver, they having had some confusion in reaching the place, what with its complicated diversions and construction that never ceased to confound even seasoned Chennaites. Trust this underwhelming airport to ruin the experience every time — never mind that a gleaming new integrated terminal for international flights has replaced the ‘cattle shed’ at long last, a decade later than it should have.

What you can’t beat, however, is the convenient distance from MAA to the city centre, and in half an hour I was safely ensconced in my room to kickstart the end-of-2022 festivities. As I was about to turn in, I caught the Technicoloured Winged Beauty returning to Suvarnabhumi, with AK68 (Hyderabad to Kuala Lumpur, #FarSouth to #FarSouth) to the top left being how I myself would leave Indian soil ten days later. More on that — and Hyderabad’s extravagant, ultramodern but rather unfortunate airport — in August, the month of Ind(ones)ian and Singaporean Independence!