As you know, I do BES<->PAR in an industrial way. I have presented two "witness" flights (here andhere) and more or less the experience is still the same. So I don't postpone these flights except in special cases (I have a status run that I have to complete, so I haven't forgotten you…) such as an incident (or several at once) or something that deserves to be told…
In short, if you have a FR it is because there is something interesting to say (because otherwise it is invigorating and endlessly boring). It's flight-report not metro-report or RER-report…
In short, this flight will be almost faithful to the 300 previous ones… well, not really:) !
And as nothing beats a good staging to enjoy a show, I invite you to follow mecomrades !!!
Already a little music to get in the mood!
Mogoy would say that it is necessary to optimize the occupation of RAM, finally of the low memory (the users of DOS 6.22 will understand me)…
In short, with an unsustainable suspense, here it is… just like those covered by my Navigo map zones 1-29?
AF 7363 - 25/02/2018 - 08:55 BES - 10:10 ORY (not carried over) AF 7376 - 26/02/2018 - 15:05 ORY - 16:15 BES (this is it)
Important information : Memorize the following top secret encryption key:
It will be useful to decipher the encoded elements because even our glorious genius cryptographers will need it
[Second degree mode = ON]
Dear comrades, glory to our eternal leaders!
It was on a beautiful afternoon in September that the member of the Platinum Nomenklatura that I am found myself very deprived when the kiss came! A meal with my leader of Kolkhoz (glory to him) started at 1 p.m. in a place of capitalist and great bourgeois perdition… except that I am supposed to be at the people's airport at 2:15 p.m… It was therefore around 2:00 p.m. that I left the common table of the worthy representatives of the people and the proletarian Revolution to take a collective taxi for individual use which, for 35 rubles, will take me to the airport south of our capital, the eternal city of the Revolution and the avant-garde of the new world…
This odious and infamous capitalist dog puppy that was my individual collective taxi driver (thanks to him!) having driven at nomenklaturian speed (and not that of the people), I arrive as if by miracle at 2:35 p. m. for my flight whose boarding has already begun.
The enlightened avant-garde elite of the Proletarian Revolution having to take their plane, I would not hesitate to make any sacrifice and will run… to Hall 1 of the airport!
And yes, from time to time and in order to be able to feed the obligatory six-monthly self-criticism under penalty of cultural re-education in a camp located in the eastern Urals, all members of the Nomenklatura must meet workers and peasants in order to be aware of the Soviet and collectivist miracle that we have.
Obviously, the Revolution does not wait and I go through the access reserved for the party's ruling elite. Seeing me running in, the other members of the Nomenklatura will all let me pass so that I can have my flight. Out of 7 people, all of them spontaneously offered it to me (including an officer of the order of thelegion of honourthe order of Lenin). The education of the popular and revolutionary youth is still excellent (unless it is the fear of being designated as a volunteer to shovel snow from any airport in Chukotka starting next month).
In short, no suspense: I could get on board! And as an added bonus, I would be deprived of the lounge reserved for members of the Presidium of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union located in zone 1 (alreadyreported here) due to the late arrival of my means of collective transport for individual use….
The reason for the FR
I can't tell you in public, but we're here between us, so it will remain confidential; I also work a little for the Komitet gossoudarstvennoï bezopasnosti (КГБ) and more particularly the 5th department of its first directorate general; I therefore have access to highly confidential information: classified at the highest level of state secrets (you're almost a volunteer to build thetripling of the Trans-Siberian Railway just by reading this FR).
As such, I had been informed by a white note that Aeroflot flight 7376 (Париж-Брест) was scheduled as operated by its regional subsidiary ("Hop Аврора") for which I had a capitalist travel ticket was to be operated by its glorious former Irish subsidiary Сити-jet in E190.
In short, Hop! for Air France is all about dreams and happiness!
In short, you have understood that this flight sold under the number of the balloon (ария Франция) and operated by its regional subsidiary will be subcontracted by Сити-jet but, in the end, it will actually be subcontracted toБългария Ер which is the worthy representative of the advanced economy that COMECOM is…
Here is the interest of the code of this FR: AF->A5->WX->FB
And yes I would fly on Facebook? finally on its local subsidiary supplier ofyoghurts andumbrellas !
Taquin, who I am, I note that the lowly people (we say without teeth in the decadent West) were only informed when this operation was embarked.
Express PIF, fast descent (abseiling or almost) to door 10 A: it smells like a collective bus or a false contact; a furtive vision will confirm a false contact and the reliability of the triple, quadruple and other moles of the "centre"…
No queue for the nomenklatura… because I'm second to last!
I'm waiting because obviously Monique-sol is more interested in something on her phone than allowing me to board. 45 seconds later (it's a long 45 seconds), it will be done (Note to myself: Monique seems to be willing to try to match the boarding pass control records in a rare metal mine in northern Siberia in winter…. you should offer her). I asked him if it was possible to change seats, after consulting Aeroflot's glorious computer system, and everything is blocked for centering.
We will put here the minute of revolutionary general culture…
Bonus : Click here displayhide
In short, I cross the street (or two staff from "Moscow Airports Who Loves You" do the traffic in addition to the two lights and four planters further away that add to the two types in the boarding room that "help" Monique-sol) to get to my mount… It's not the red army anymore, it's the Mexican army!
It is indeed LZ-VAR which has been flying this flight for at least a week…. between flea jumps in Pau, Clermont-Ferrand or Montpellier (un FR ici). I remind you that since the last evolution of the loyalty program of our glorious national airline a Moscow-Vladivostok brings back 2 XP is as much as a Lyon - Clermont-Ferrand or as a Nice-Bastia)…
I go up and I come across: Monica-ole-ole-ole and Monica-ski.
The first one is Spanish (because of her accent, I didn't ask her for her CV) and "speaks" French despite her uniform Сити-jet ; she says hello to me quite neutral and goes everywhere. Behind the CC in Bulgarian uniform, who looks the same as the Gulag 375's periodic inspection checker for expired sanitary products… I met him last week to tell him that he would be 5 years older because he had arrived 2 minutes late the day before. Except that my "Dobar-Den" (ie Hello in decadent capitalist language) will surprise her and, magic of the Soviet world and the genius of the proletarian revolution, Monica-Ski will instantly have sparkling eyes and a smile to remove all scruples from a married man (except me of course because I am the enlightened vanguard of the proletarian revolution and therefore of a morality and probity above all suspicion). I doubt a Singapore-girl can match that moment… one day!
My ticket having been issued the day before the theft (for 87.50 rubles the segment thanks to my pro-Soviet anti-capitalist genius), I missed the automatic check-in and therefore am placed in 11 A (make me think of sending the Aeroflot automatic placement manager to popular and cultural re-education).
I ask (again) if it is possible to change places.
Yes of course (still with that sparkling smile) the CC answers me as soon as the boarding is over. I tell him that I am before last and that the PIL is following… a moment of embarrassment for Monica-olé-olé who obviously loses the ability to converse in English (my Bulgarian is very bad and is limited to 5-6 utility words: Hello, thank you, comrade, etc.; otherwise it is not good for my self-criticism, I will have to take evening classes in Bulgarian…).
In short, Monica-olé-olé leads me to 11 A… trying to regain control. But my seat is occupied by a charming co-pax; I suggest she go to 11 F which she appreciates (note for myself: next time provide an armed border guard with me to send any squatter of a seat to self-criticism).
A view of seat 11A with a fragment of said squatting machine….
Have the magazine dated last August; I have to send some volunteers to monitor the tension of the catenaries on track 1 of the masterly Baikal Amour… it's all found: the person in charge of loading the magazines at Sofia airport!
The content of the company's magazine is studied on loan.
The head of the 367th Air Transport Office presents his glorious achievement of the 58th plan (note the watch):
The ways of the bleeding man:
Hang on to Red Road No. 1 (Париж-Брест) is not present on the map of the onboard magazine. I was looking for volunteers to serve as people's deminers on the beaches of North Korea, I think I found a nest!
The view of the 11F… that I don't like:)
After a brief stint at 11B (at the arrival of comrade 11F), I would finally finish in 7A. You all know my natural gift for musical chairs: it is NEVER me who goes to Siberia at the end… it is the other one!
There's even a coat hook to put on his Soviet field marshal jackets
A miracle of modern, anti-capitalist Soviet genius, Pravda and other decadent press titles were available for sale.
Thebutton of the ejector seatto raise the aisle side armrest as required by regulation… (it is in the "hole")
The "corporate" regulatory health tests (aie c'est de l'anglais, suis bon pour un stage de récupération de points linguistiques suite à mon autocritique surprise de décembre 2018 actuellement en cours de planification).
Push back and let's go…
Well, did one of them do an internship in Asia?
A little driving….
Except that maximum looting of the brakes (orch not good for my back, the CDB and the OPL will have an anonymous denunciation signed by me; he will redeem himself by transporting freight at night in Siberia). In fact, we're just… almost turning around on the spot!
And yes we had to switch to W2, we will switch to W1 in front of the surprised local fauna surprised by this unexpected switch… Everyone switches to W2, we don't! Yet I didn't call the Federal Directorate of Civil Aviation to be a priority and get ahead of everyone….
Um, um… it smells like a driving error, this thing.
Monica-ole-ole-ole ad with a Castilian accent to be cut with a knife: not only does she read the sentences in her ad manual, but she also reads word for word and seems to discover the ads; passengers smile or giggle.
So much for the commercial part that makes me laugh (This flight will be….. Flanked by an aircraft from Bulgaria Air… The chervish will cost the same… as with…. Hop… The team speaks English but che chuis a your… dispocisión chi you do not speak English) so much for the security demonstrations it is a little more problematic…
I'm sure she appreciates the language course I'll have her do on the Sochi side… in winter!
Well it's not all that, alignment in 08, facing East, takeoff (a little long but the aircraft seems loaded)… climb a little slow (there it may be the control), 180 ° by the right and zou heading towards the western limit of the Empire: Брест.
The Hunting Horn
Villeneuve-Saint-Georges and Valenton….
Passage of the layer, nothing particular…
And Hop! The "Chervice" begins.
At the trolley was whistling
My "thank you" in Bulgarian and the few words exchanged will be far beyond normal… obviously she was happy that someone made the effort to take an interest in them (on the other hand if they have been in France for 3 weeks subcontracting the Aeroflot subcontractor… I understand them). I feel she would like to talk more, but duty calls her when the commander makes an announcement.
Not only will it indicate the route followed, heading, altitude, temperatures, speeds and other main flight parameters, but it will also end with an announcement of the beginning of the descent. All in English (almost understandable despite the background noise). Monica-olé-olé she isaux fraisesat the service and especially will not translate the ad (in reality yé né souis not sure that she is all inclusive olé !).
Commodities inspection according to the glorious regulatory protocol
You will all notice that in the wonderful world of communism, changing a child is a mixed task (glory to the revolution) and that a vodka glass dispenser is present!
3 clearing passages, Landivisiau, Landerneau, Landerneau, Guipavas and Saint-Renan… hold landing facing East (rather rare) with a vertical field, then a ride almost above the Atlantic. Not the usual circuit but I don't complain (we haven't approached the forbidden zones related tothe long islandPolyarni) and that changes…
A little too high, a little too high, a little spoliation and that's it.
Braking a little hard (after a kiss landing attempt), exit by the Delta ramp (not frequent either)….
Monica-olé-olé starts making… half announcements (she starts the phases, doesn't finish them or skips a line)… everyone smiles because we've arrived…
Except that on runway 07 L there is a representative of the navy… just like on the general airfield in position 10 (so 2 helicopters)… the first one was waiting for our clearance to change location at 2 meters altitude. Apparently a VIP was expected in the back.
A ground to air with naval aviation is not common, is it? Of course you all know thatthe Charles-de-Gaullethe admiralKouznetsov is inIPER.
Arriving in view of our parking point, the CDB takes a left… then operates a 90° to the right before making a 90° left then another 90° to the right… to align just right. We saw the Marshall getting angry… obviously the preparation of the flight and the consultation of the field maps is not the strong point of Bulgaria (I feel that some will go to map the Siberian gulags).
Well yes we were going to 6 and the CDB thought it was 7A… it's ballo!
Engine shutdown, St. Andrew's cross of the Marshal, movement of the footbridge; the moment Danette followed by a loud scream from Monica-Olé-Olé-Olé which signals to us that we are not at our parking point and that we must sit down urgently. Everyone complies by laughing. She will not finish her sentence (she opened her panicked procedure book by looking for the announcement that is fine for the rest)…
Suddenly I have a thought for that:
20 seconds later: knock knock knock knock knock; Degemar mad, you can open the door!
A classic outing…. thanks to our brothers from the East!
Ah what would you not do without the communist world?
The PIFometer moment
The beast of Gévaudanof the Carpathians
The good joke is that I repeat the experience (I must be unconsciously maso) soon and that Aeroflot informed me in advance this time
I look forward to discovering the Bulgaria Air d'Orly (sic) lounge…. Is there anyone in Moscow who rereads this kind of message or is it a blind bureaucracy?
Paris - ORY
Brest - BES
What can I say?
An AF flight operated by A5 still passes (same service with three details ready).... The same subcontracted flight in Cityjet had a fun side (The SSJ!!!! or an ARJ at least)... But the sub-subcontracted flight at Bulgaria Air is no longer fun, it's Kafka!
I blame AF for not informing the passengers in advance as it has an obligation to do (even if for me it was likely, it is not an excuse). Especially since the same aircraft has been flying this flight for at least a week! What are they afraid of? That passengers demand to change flights?
The PNT obviously have difficulty with flight preparation: ground evolutions are not their strong point (in flight, on the other hand, no problems or anomalies were visible or perceptible)... The cabin crew: the Bulgarians were visibly out of their element and suffering their fate... the Spanish used by the Irish woman to provide service in French was a bad joke and it was not acceptable. I am absolutely not sure that in the event of a serious problem, non-English speakers would have received the required information... for their safety we say how to "evacuate by the left" in Gaelic? in Castilian? in Catalan? in Bulgarian.
In short for a day flight... it works but it's still ole-olé :)
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